


Our Veins Run Red and Blue

by angelindisguise



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, drag!Niall
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-27
Updated: 2013-11-05
Packaged: 2017-12-30 15:01:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1020081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelindisguise/pseuds/angelindisguise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Follows the lives of two boys struggling to find who they are and where they belong when clearly they belong together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in the place I live because it's more familiar for me and also more realistic

A soft piano piece plays in the background, like the ones you hear when you walk into a fancy café with a live pianist – well only ever experienced through the tv screen – but that’s what he imagines when he first hears the intricate way the high notes are played with the lows. He’s scrolling through the blog, pristine and very pure colour coordination with posts of beautiful pictures of scenery, touching gifs of intimacy and hot girls with cool clothes or hot boys with no clothes.

The piano builds up just a tad and then fades away slightly then builds up to a very climactic ending. It’s all very romantic Niall thinks as he scrolls through more and more, appreciating every post and the beauty they possess. He can picture a story in his mind, the notes painting a vivid array of images. The girl, she’s walking, a blissful smile dancing on her lips when she meets a boy, shy and mysterious. They test the waters whether it will work or not and next thing they know they fall in love. The wedding day and the girl is walking up the aisle, they make eye contact and smile to each other like they are the only ones in the room, one more step and they can be together forever, intertwined by their love for each other but a massive meteor strikes the venue and they die before they could have the chance.

Niall is snapped out of his trance, realizing how abrupt the piece ended with a clatter of keys pressed all at once. And then the song starts back up and he can’t bear to listen to it again and know that it’s going to end in a horrific and tragic end. Not the kind of circle he wants to be stuck in, especially when he feels he’s in one. One _lonely_ circle.


	2. Chapter 2

“Zayn honey, still no girlfriend?”   
“No aunty” Zayn replies in a polite manner, but his insides cringe with every pat on the face and ruffle of his raven hair. “My my what a shame. Look at that face, what girl wouldn’t want to smooch those plump lips of yours. Am I right Tricia?” His aunty bellows to Zayn’s mother. He takes this opportunity to sidestep out of her reach as to not be tormented with the same questions that comes with every major family gathering.

He finds himself outside about to light a cigarette even though he has a rule only to smoke at night times and always in the company of others.   
“Thought you didn’t smoke during the day.” He hears suddenly making him drop his lighter on the damp spring grass. “Jesus Em, ninja much?” Zayn replies, tucking his cigarette back into the pack and fetching his lighter. “Yeah your right, it’s just..” He doesn’t finish though because this is the same exact thing that happened last time a family member had a birthday.   
“Yeah my mum is a bit nutty.” Emily joins him and they just stare at nothing in particular. “But seriously when are you bringing a girl to one of these things, conversations are just so awkward with the old folks.” Zayn breathes out a sigh, hoping that that was more than enough of a reply.

He has other cousins but they’re all quite young and Emily has been really the only one he could bond with, being less than a year apart from each other. They’re close, not quite best friends but close enough. Their circle of friends don’t often intertwine and gossip doesn’t flit between the two so they can share who hooked up with who or she said this and that about this person without having the repercussions of being _that_ person that spreads gossip and become untrustworthy.

“Guess what?” Em starts picking at the grass beside their feet. They’re sitting on the steps and Zayn does end up lighting that cigarette, inhaling the smoke with a raised eyebrow. “Well you know Shelby?” Zayn’s eyes flicker, because yeah Shelby is hot and they had a sort of thing, very brief thing. “Her friend.. Gosh forgot his name. Anyway she’s helping him dress up in drag and oh my soul I’ve met him couple of times and I’m pretty sure he would be able to pull it off. I’m so excited and you know how fashiony Shelby is.” Rhetorical question but Zayn nods anyway. “She’s gonna have a ball with him.” Zayn has a brief thought at what he’d look like dressed as a girl but just smiles when the thought passes quickly. “Remember that time when you and Shelby were going to do it but you were so wasted you couldn’t get it up?” Emily cackles like the wicked witch of the west and Zayn shoves her in the grass, stomping on the cigarette butt and back inside.

The party finishes up soon and Zayn is back in his city central flat, his head on Liam’s lap doing some last minute readings for his Monday Accounting lecture tomorrow. “Juice?” Liam asks, jostling his leg for added measure. Zayn just hums and lifts his head so Liam can get up and is replaced with a throw pillow.

Their flat is situated nicely in the middle of Wellington, walking distance to the uni and to the clubs. And pretty much everything else you need in the small city. It’s fairly modern and fully furnished two bedroom apartment. Cream coloured walls and a wide living room, flat screen courtesy of Zayn’s parent’s house warming gift mounted on the wall beside the window that looks over Pigeon Park.

“Oh yeah that reminds me,” Liam starts saying from their moderate sized kitchen. “Our power bill’s been increasing, going to be at least an extra 10 bucks from both of us.” He then goes on to mumble about how stupid the recession is under his breath.

Zayn spares a bit of his concentration on what Liam said and replies with “true, I’ll tell dad” then back to reading about the case study. Liam just rolls his eyes and brings back a glass of juice for Zayn and protein shake for himself, situating himself again with Zayn’s head on his lap.

“You stink.” Zayn mumbles which gets the right reaction from Liam. “Excuse me? My sweat doesn’t stink! Kate thinks so too!” Liam seethes out, jabbing Zayn in the stomach lightly. Zayn pretends to gag and breaks into a laugh. “Is Kate coming over today? Are you going to let her play with your nipples again?” Zayn teases, grabbing one of Liam’s nipples and twisting it. “Oh my god it was one time ok? Get over it!” Liam guffaws, his face noticeably red. “Walls are so thin I can even hear the whpshh of the whip she uses on you.” Zayn says barely able to contain his laughter. He’s practically read the same sentence over five times now.

Just as Liam is going to retaliate there’s a knock on the door and Liam goes to get it, roughly pushing Zayn’s head off his lap. Zayn chuckles to himself and sits up, taking sip of the juice. Ew he thinks and wonders why they keep buying that flavour juice.

“Kaaaayyyytttttt” Zayn drags out as she joins him on the couch with Liam on her tail. “Hey babe.” She sits herself down and Zayn reassumes his position but on Kate’s lap and Liam on the other side. “Oh my god Finn asked Anna out today. So cute!”   
Zayn smiles, “knew those two were hooking up in town last night. Cute though.”

After a while Kate asks, “what’s that smell?” Zayn giggles to himself and Liam groans. “Seriously? Stop conspiring against me!” Liam says. Zayn just lifts his hand for a high five without taking his eyes of the thick text book and Kate meets him half way and just laugh. When Liam crosses his arms, Kate puts a consoling arm around her boyfriend and whispers into his ear that has him blushing.

“Alright, alright that’s disgusting. Seriously stop rubbing him when I’m right here!” Zayn pleads. And then the feeling of loneliness settles in the pit of his stomach, an all too familiar feeling but he just shoves it aside and continues on reading. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii! Thanks for reading, let me know what you think? 
> 
> I know the chapters are short so hopefully I'll be updating regularly!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything is kinda just introductory stuff, hope it doesn't bore you!

_I’ll be coming around 12ish_

Niall reads first thing he wakes up. It’s now 10:38 and the sun is semi shining and it could be worse. Cold winds and torrential rain, yeah he’s glad the sun is peeking past the clouds though he reckons it won’t last.

He’s right of course because once he finally gets up after scrolling through his instagram feed, swallows down buttered toast and scrubs the toilet and polish the basin (much to his delight, a condition his brother Greg set upon him last night) it’s nearing 12 and the first few drops of rain slide down his window.

He flicks a text to Greg telling him he cleaned the bathroom before heading into the shower. Katy Perry’s Roar plays in the background as he soaps and lathers himself up, swaying his body to the beat of the music. It switches to Clarity by Zedd and he’s belting out the song freely with no one to hear him, no customers trying to hassle him and it’s just him in his own world’.

There’s a reply from Greg when he’s towelling himself dry. _Sweet! Denise will be happy._ Niall has a chuckle to himself because of how much a slave Greg is to his wife Denise but that’s love he thinks.

He’s putting on his red chinos when he hears someone tapping on the backdoor. He finds Harry shielding his soft brown curls from the rain and jumps right in when the door is fully open. “Man the weather is shit. Only on our day offs right?” Harry says already ruffling through the pantry.

Niall’s room is situated right at the end of the house, next to the kitchen with it’s own handy backdoor. It would’ve been useful for sneaking in and out but he’s far too old for that and Greg doesn’t mind what he gets up to as long as he tells them where he is. Niall’s had way too many lectures about the importance of texting his whereabouts so he’s always mindful to always send Greg a message.

“Oh my god I had this slow as bitch at checkouts last night.” Harry plops himself on Niall’s bed with a packet of rice crisps while Niall continues to get changed. “Like she had to swipe her card twenty fucking times I swear.” Niall laughs at his best friend’s misfortune and does a body check on Harry. “Ugh I knew you were going to wear those pants.” Niall says with faux distaste. “Yeah but they’re so cool, so glad you we bought the same ones.” Harry grins and Niall can’t help the smile that threatens the corners of his mouth. “Such a grenade Harry.”   
“And you’re a mongo! Anyway let’s go. I’m keen to check out those outlet stores in Otaki.”

With a last glance around his messy room, clothes piled on the floor, random receipts lying around he closes the door and makes sure the stove and lights and doors are locked.

It’s a bit of a drive to Otaki, almost forty minutes so they play good music and share stories from the last time they hung out together, which was their day off last week again falling on a Tuesday.

“Last sat was so fun. You know Michy?” Harry asks. Niall has to think for a second, “is that the one that was supposed to get married but then cheated on him?”   
“Yeah that one.” Harry confirms. “Anyway she’s with this guy Mitch now, you know the one from work.”   
“That didn’t take long.”   
“Yeah I know slut right? But yeah his house is soo big, like it’s got a pool table and like a proper dj booth upstairs. He also flats with the coolest people. Oh man was so fun, probably because I was so drunk but yeah no dramas for once.” Harry finishes, his eyes trained on the road, little dimples peeking out.

“Did you end up going town after?” Niall asks, changing the song on Harry’s phone. “Nah just stayed up till four.” Harry replies. “Did you stay in town? Were you with Louis and stuff?”   
“Yeah only for a little bit, went to catch the one am train.” Niall says.   
“Such a nana.” Harry teases.

They finally make it to Otaki, taking a cheeky pit stop at Wendy’s to scarf down some burgers and fries. Niall is still finishing his frosty when they walk into the Shoe Connection outlet store. There’s quite a few people milling about in such a cramped space filled with shoes and stacks of shoe boxes.

“Mate look at this. Soooo disappointing.” Harry says in a hushed whisper, not wanting to catch the eye of the shop assistants. Niall checks the price tags of the Vans and yeah really disappointing. “Dumb, it’s just the same price. I had a feeling.”

They look for another ten seconds before making a hasty exit. “Gee what a waste of a drive up.” Niall says to which Harry just nods in agreement. They make their way back to the car, the clouds roll in looking like it wants to start pouring down with rain when Harry nudges him in the elbow. “Dayum look at the chick across the road.” He chuckles. Niall takes a half glance but his eyes end up on the profile of Harry’s face. “Yeah she’s alright.”

Harry turns to grin at Niall, signature cheesy smile and they lock eyes for a second. Niall thinks Harry has really great eyes. Deep green gaze that goes for miles. Then there’s a vibration from his pocket that signifies a text. It’s from a number that hasn’t been saved to a name.

_Hey I had a really fun night on sat. We should hang out again? X_

He doesn’t even bother replying instead deleting the thread and trudging back to the car, trying to keep up with Harry’s new story that he’s telling. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts???


	4. Chapter 4

“So guys, for next week, make sure you read the questions carefully and if you need any help or have any questions don’t hesitate to flick me an email. Congrats on passing your mid sem test guys.” Zoe says in front of the class. “That’s all for today. Hey Zayn can I see you for a second.” She gives him a quick smile.

He’s not sure what it’s about and goes up to her after packing up his macbook in its sleeve. “What’s up Zoe?” Zayn asks, he doesn’t know why but his heart rate picks up a bit.   
“Soooo, I talked to the lecturer about possible tutors and I recommended you!” Zoe says joyfully. Zayn is taken aback a little and Zoe calls him out on it. “I don’t understand why you’re so surprised. You’ve aced all the tests and assignments, participate in class and work really well in groups. You’re pretty much on top of Winchesters list of second year tutors.” Zayn manages to say thanks and Zoe pats him on the back before rushing off to the other side of campus.

Stuck in his own world he barely registers that he’s getting a phone call and by the time he tries to answer it’s too late. His phone shows a missed call from dad and the smile fades just a little. A message follows shortly.

_Lunch in half an hour. Wagamama’s at the wharf. Don’t be late, really busy today._

He was hoping to get some study in at the library but now he only has 20 minutes to walk down from uni and he’s really not up for sprinting. He contemplates making an excuse to not go but then again he doesn’t see his dad very often and that he’s a terrible liar and his dad will see right through it.

It’s crazy windy – not surprising in Wellington – but Zayn’s got his black puffer jacket on from Kathmandu to keep him warm paired with skinny brown chinos that hugs his legs just right. By the time he makes it to the restaurant his hair is blown in all sorts of angles and makes an attempt to restyle it before facing his dad, who he can already see sitting down with by the window with two steaming bowls of food.

“Hey dad.” Zayn greets and takes the seat opposite him. His father glances from his phone and pockets it. “Ah my one and only son. How are you?” Yasir says. “I ordered you a chicken katsudon.”   
“Thanks. Guess what?” Zayn asks.   
“What?”   
Zayn splits his chopsticks up, “I got asked if I wanted to be a tutor for the second years next year.”   
His dad looks up from his bowl and gives him a smile, finishing his food before replying. “That’s wonderful son, so proud of you.”

He takes more bites, Zayn loving the crumbed chicken. “How was your conference last week?” Zayn asks.   
“You know, same old. Networking. Trying to get more clients for the firm.” Pause. “There’s an accounting dinner this Saturday, I want you to come. There will be lots of pretty girls there with really good connections. How about you try use that pretty face of yours and actually start thinking about your future.”

And Zayn immediately regrets asking the question. Every damn time it always relates back to him and finding a girl and thinking about the future and how he’s the only Malik left and he has to continue the line of accountants because sooner or later, his father’s company will be entrusted to him and of course he can’t say no or they’ll look at him with big disappointing eyes and he’ll hate himself for it.

He puts on a brave face, musters up a smile and nods. “Of course, I’d love to.”   
“That’s great! Look I have to run, my phone has been vibrating non-stop. I’ll ask Penny to send you a suit to your place. See you on Saturday.”

Zayn isn’t even surprised that his dad barely touched his food. He’s barely seen him since their last lunch which was more than a month ago and that didn’t even last this long. Whatever, he doesn’t really care. He shoves all his feelings in the backseat and just eats and somehow it doesn’t taste as good as it did before.

He takes his and his dad’s meal to go and walks back to his apartment, the wind as relentless as ever. He’s itching for a cigarette but he doesn’t want to break his rules. He finds Liam perched on the couch reading a book. Liam eyes the plastic bag he’s holding. “Lunch with daddy today?” Zayn goes to put it in the fridge for later. “Yeah.”   
“Wagamama?”   
“Mhmm.”  
“11 minutes?” Liam gets up and joins Zayn in the kitchen. He grabs a fork and starts picking at Zayn’s chicken that he left out on the bench.   
“Nah almost 15 today.”   
“Wow a new record.” Liam chuckles with a mouthful of food. “What he want this time?”   
“Fancy dinner on sat.” Zayn says and then there’s a buzz from the intercom. He presses a button. “Come on up Penny.”

Few moments later there’s a knock on the door. Penny is standing behind the door, late 30’s with blonde hair in a tight bun clad in a cute black pencil skirt and a nice fitting blouse. “Hey Zayn. 38 regular right?” She says.   
“Don’t act like you don’t know Penny. I know you know everything.” Zayn teases.   
“You’re right. Just didn’t bring any ice up here in case I burn you.” She retorts, handing over the bundle.   
“Ooooh.” Liam jeers from the kitchen. Zayn rolls his eyes, but a smile on his face nonetheless.   
“Hey Liam. You been working out?” Penny asks.   
There’s a faint blush on his cheeks. “Uh – um yeah I guess.” He says trying to play it cool.   
“Oh what a bummer, it’s not really showing.” And it was Zayn’s turn this time to go “oooooh.”   
She flicks Liam a wink and says her goodbyes.

“I love Penny.” Liam says all dazed, eating the last pieces of chicken.   
“I’m going to tell Kate!” Zayn yells from his room putting the suit in the closet.   
“I didn’t mean it like that!!” Liam yells back. Zayn just chuckles to himself, a fond smile resting on his lips. 


	5. Chapter 5

Niall locks the front, plugging in his headphones as he walks to the train station that is literally across the road. He’s grown accustomed to it running past every half an hour, nearly not as annoying as it was the first time he tried to sleep.

He times the arrival of the train perfectly. He pulls out his kindle after flashing the train attendant his monthly pass. He fills in the forty minute train ride reading about Robert Langdon and his latest historical escapades and saving the world of course.

It’s about mid Saturday afternoon and his shift starts in 20 minutes, just enough time to walk to the city from the station.

“Hey boss.” Niall says playfully as he walks in. Louis is sat on the chair typing away, probably last minute things he forgot to print out for the dinner they’re working on tonight.   
“Niall! My love, my everything!” Louis exclaims earning giggles from the other staff members that are in the tiny office getting ready. He gets up to give Niall a bit of a cuddle and ruffle his blonde locks. “Gonna need to pull out the bleach soon.”   
Niall tries to cover his hair with his hands, “I know right. Maybe I’ll go for au naturale.” He grabs his uniform from the closet – also a makeshift changing room – and pins his team leader badge on. Niall greets everyone else in the room and makes a playful joke about Laura’s hair that has everyone laughing.

“Alright alright settle down. We gotta prepare the town hall for a four hundred person dinner. Niall you can handle that, I still got stuff to do here so I’ll join you shortly. Guys make your way over to town hall.” People start shuffling towards the door after Louis finishes talking.

Niall catches up with some of the foreigners that have been travelling new Zealand for a few weeks. He can’t say about travelling New Zealand much, although he’s pretty much lived here all his life the appeal just isn’t the same.

He gets everyone setting the table cloths and dishing out the cutlery and side plates. This is his millionth dinner and pretty much the same every time. He gathers everyone after he finishes setting up his demo table. “So make sure you have your corners right. The easiest way to do it is to pretend you’re seated at the table, you obviously don’t want your cutlery askew.” Niall says. “Isn’t that right Carmen?” He gets a blush in reply. “Call me once you’ve done one and I’ll check before you do the rest.”

“You would make a great floor manager.” Louis says from behind him. Niall rolls his eyes because even he has to admit that Louis is a really great floor manager. He just has the uncanny intuition on making the right decisions in an instant. Plus he can strike up a conversation from virtually nothing.   
“Ah your words soothe my soul.” Niall replies pulling out his event sheet. “Ew accountants. Yay for drunk stuck up old farts.”   
Louis chuckles. “Ha! Well we could probably find you a lovely lad that will bend you over and bang your brains out.” Louis nudges him playfully.   
“Well not that you’ll see anyway, you’ll be stuck out back with all the temps and derps that are working tonight.”   
“Don’t even remind me! Olivia’s working tonight! That girl will be the death of me I swear!” Louis clutches the ends of his hair. “Anyway I’ll get the booze from the fridge. Be back soon!”

Niall watches as his best friend and boss walk away. For a guy shorter than him – Louis would argue it was by a hairs width – he has a lot of confidence and Niall feels like he’ll always be in awe. One of the newbies calls his attention to check the table he was working on and he can already see that it’s a disaster. “Dude entrée cutlery on the outside, did you not see the demo table?”

Once the extra set of staff have come in and all the tables are set, glasses and assorted wine, centre pieces and table numbers Louis gathers them in the back of house. Niall stands beside him alongside other team leaders, Sophie and Eleanor, listening to the same old precautions that Louis is outlining. How to recognize drunk behaviour, what to do when you spill, what we’re expecting yada yada yada.

“So Niall will be inside telling you which table you’ll be serving or clearing, Sophie on the bar and Eleanor inside with me. Once I call your names get into your groups and stay in them in the same order. We want good quality and fast paced service tonight guys, don’t let me down.” Louis says with authority.

There’s a bit of downtime before the first guests arrive and the team leaders have a bit of a gossip session. They’re already laughing at the short ginger girl that is already rubbing Louis up the wrong way. “I hope there are cute guys!” Sophie says. Niall stifles a laugh, “as if you’ve got game!”   
“I know..” She replies with a pout on her lips, Eleanor just chuckles quietly and eyes Louis having a go at Olivia. “I guess I better get my boyfie before he knocks the poor girl out.” She says making her way over to where Louis is standing. She tugs him by the arm and pulls him to where they’re gathered. “If she says one more stupid thing that I don’t wanna hear I swear!” And Louis pretends to tie a noose and wraps it around his neck. Eleanor rubs his arm consolingly, also picking off a stray piece of fabric on his suit jacket. Sophie chuckles at them and Niall looks longingly. There’s a bubbling in his stomach and he tries to ignore it but just the sight of Lou and El together makes him squirm in his skin a little.  

“Time check Ni?”   
“Quarter to.” He replies promptly.   
“Alright guys they’re almost here. Everybody on standby. Let’s start pre pouring those drinks Soph.”

Game time, Niall thinks. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Is it horrible?


	6. Chapter 6

“Do you think it’s too late to text my dad and tell him I’m sick with.. mad cow? That’s believable right?” Zayn asks out loud whilst rearranging his tie for the umpteenth time. Unnecessary if you ask Liam where he’s seated in front of the tv watching real housewives of L.A. Or was it New Jersey either way it’s frying his brain but Kate insisted on it, who is currently plastered to his side.

“Remember that time you told your dad in year 11 that you were sick and he didn’t give you any money for a whole month. What are you going to do if he cuts off your rent money!” Liam says. Zayn does remember and he and Liam missed out on some concert tickets to Black Eyed Peas. He also does not want to think of not ever having the financial security that his dad gives him.

“Shit, yeah. Does this look alright?” They turn and look at Zayn and Liam just rolls his eyes.   
“Dude you look hot alright, I don’t even know why you have to ask.” Liam says.   
“Aww babe you’re hot too, especially when you don’t have any clothes on.” Kate coos, coddling Liam a little bit. “But yeah Zayn, damn boy you clean up well. That stubble holy mother of jesus.”   
“Kaaaate!” Liam whinges, “boyfriend right here?”   
“You know I love how your stubble rubs slightly on the inside of my thighs.” Kate whispers loud enough that Zayn could hear.

He takes that as his cue to grab his keys and wallet and head towards the door. Checking once again that his tie is nice and straight, or his suit jacket – which fits perfectly thanks to Penny – has any lint on it, he thinks about polishing his shoes but decides against it because he’s already kind of late and yeah he can’t be bothered.

“Hey Zayn, I’m gonna be at Kate’s tonight. So um, feel free to um you know bring a girl up. Or someone, anyone it doesn’t um have to be yeah just I won’t be here so have a good night.” Liam says all flustered, his cheeks flaring by the end of it. Zayn just smiles back at him but inside he’s numb like someone has just clubbed him in the head. He likes to pretend Liam doesn’t know about his gay tendencies but most of all _he_ wants to forget about it so he tries to push the impending thoughts away and thank goodness for the venue being literally down the road.

He enters through the town hall main entrance and the foyer is fairly packed with suit clad gentlemen with assorted coloured dressed up women latched to their arms. Drinks are floating around and he grabs a flute of champagne from one of the waiters making his way to the big crowd that his father has already got laughing. He downs the drink in one go.

“Ah Zayn, glad you could make it.” Yasir goes ahead and introduces his son to everyone, making small remarks about the girls his age that also came with their daddies about how pretty and beautiful they look and then getting a pointed look from his father.

After a few more fake laughs and smouldering smiles on Zayn’s part they start making their way towards the main hall where the tables are set and the lights are dimmed with spotlights focusing the lectern on the stage. He’s conveniently sat beside one of the girls from the foyer up the very front.

They start talking, her name is Tamara and she studies biology up at the Kelburn campus of Vic Uni and that’s where he stops paying attention and just nods and says yeah. He’s not all that interested, she’s pretty and she seems somewhat intelligent. He can’t exactly pinpoint anything wrong with that but there’s definitely no spark.

The entrees are being served up and Zayn waits for the guy directing the workers on which table to serve to come to his table. “Hey mate?” Zayn asks trying to get the guys attention, the chatter drowning his voice. He’s coming up right behind him now. “Hey.” Zayn says a little bit louder. The guy finally gets the message and bends down to hearing level.

“Hi sir, what can I do for you?” He says to him and it sends chills down his spine. He doesn’t know whether it’s the deep blue eyes or the toothy grin or because this feeling is wrong on so many levels but it makes him shiver in the slightest. “Can I just get a beer?” Zayn says.   
“Sure. We’ve got Heineken, Tui and Speights.” He replies. Zayn can’t stop looking at his lips, the plumpness of them.   
“I’ll have a heiny please.” And your lips on mine he thinks. Zayn wants him to stay longer but also just wants him to get away.   
“Coming right up.”

Zayn watches him whisper something into his radio and goes back to being a traffic cop for the staff. Tamara tries to initiate a conversation and he really tries hard to pay attention but he’s distracted. Distracted through the speeches, and even when his father is talking to him and once again when Niall comes by with the mains.  Zayn couldn’t help himself, gawking at the name badge on his breast trying to decipher it in the dark. He’s already had a few more beers by then and he’s well past tipsy.

“Niall!” He beckons. He mentally berates himself for calling him by his name like they’re buddies or something. His dad also gives him a look, way too drunk for him to decipher. Who cares he thinks, Niall is coming over.

“Hey can I get another beer pretty please?” Zayn asks, fluttering his eyelashes a little. It’s silly and he knows it but it seems to get a small laugh from the guy and it makes his stomach do odd things and can’t help the smile that spreads across his face.   
“Sure thing.” Niall says sweet and simple.

Once the formalities and desserts are served music starts playing and the dance floor opens up. Zayn almost had the urge to dance but seeing all the old people up there was enough to keep him in his seat. Tamara offers to get out of here and go out clubbing for real and he doesn’t see why not, except he does and his name is Niall.

He didn’t expect himself to feel so much for another boy before. Last time was back in high school and only because he was in an all-boys school and he was naïve back then. Sure there are some good looking guys that pass by in the streets or in some of his lectures but appreciating and genuinely want to snog the hell out of someone is different. Wrong but right at the same time.

He has a hard time accepting it, this feeling especially when the root of the problem is sitting right beside him. His father will never approve and his father’s acknowledgement means the world to him, it’s why he does these stupid fancy dinners and studies so hard for a subject he has grown accustomed to and not something he actually wants to see himself doing for the rest of his life.

It’s all so fucked up he thinks, how he’s so conditioned to only feel certain things for certain people. But he can’t hurt his dad, his family, they mean too much to him. Disappointment is something he never wants them to feel, because he would feel it tenfold.

“Let’s go Tamara.” He says seductively. She instantly lights up and grabs a hold of the hand he holds out for her. He tells his goodbyes to his dad and gets an approving look in return. It makes him feel sick. He locks eyes with Niall, so sweet looking, he wants to know more, what’s behind those big blue eyes. Tomorrow he’ll blame the alcohol and forget all about it, he hopes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know chapters are short but it's just how I roll lol. 
> 
> Thoughts?


	7. Chapter 7

Zayn realises the whole cliché about suddenly noticing someone everywhere once you’ve met them once is true. Although he barely said more than ten words to the guy.

The next day, after finally getting rid of Tamara – what a mission that was – he decided to go to the library and to get to the library he has to pass town hall. He wasn’t hopeful at all about catching a glimpse of Niall. Except that he was and as it turns out, passing by his workplace increases the chance of seeing him. Who would’ve known.

Zayn’s walking, slow if not deliberately, and just casually turning his head from side to side ever so often not looking at anything in particular. And there he is. Coming out from the elevator and putting a trolley full of glassware onto a truck.

Niall is stretching to keep the glassware in place and simultaneously trying to press the button of the remote. His black three quarter sleeve uniform rides up in the slightest revealing the pale skin and blue Dickies boxers. It’s glorious and it makes him shiver, but it’s probably due to the lack of layers and the fact that Wellington has four seasons in five minutes. Zayn is gawking and it’s incredibly not classy and very unlike him so he picks up his pace.

-

“Did you see that guy staring at you?” Louis says to Niall as he comes out from the office door. “Don’t tell me you’ve got another stalker? Remember the last one, boy he couldn’t take the hint.”

Niall feels the heat rush inside of him because he does remember the last guy and it was borderline call the police because he fears his own safety and he hopes it’s not like that again. He doesn’t even remember the last guy he slept with, didn’t want to. He’s frustrated that he attracts all the creeps.

“Can you help me with this Lou?”

He doesn’t bother expending his energy on turning around.

-

Studying goes over well, ninety five percent of the time. The other five percent he thinks if he’ll randomly bump into Niall at like Mcdonalds or something and they can have that awkward moment where neither of them talk and just smile crooked smiles and rub the backs of their heads.

Not likely and resumes studying.

There’s a girl that keeps catching his eye, she’s pretty and whatnot, long brunette hair, big doe eyes. His father would probably like her. Zayn gives her a small smile and she ducks her head down in embarrassment. It’s nearing closing time and he thinks three hours of study is long enough.

He packs his stuff quickly and definitely avoiding eye contact with the girl across from him. He could if he wanted to, get her in bed with him but Tamara was a handful last night and he doesn’t want that kind of mess in the morning.

Out in the big quad area outside the library he runs into Shelby. Still gorgeous as ever with her clear cut emerald eyes and her wispy blonde hair blowing in the wind, albeit not as attractive if it were in a movie but still nice. He spots her first and runs up to fall instep.

“Hey.” She jumps a little but smiles once she recognizes who it is. They stop in the middle for a quick hug.   
“Hey so good to see you. What’s up?” Her voice makes his insides tickle a bit. They start walking again in the same direction he’s headed. He loves the freckles on her nose. Too bad he stuffed it up.   
“Just headin home, did a bit of studying. The usual.” He chuckles, their hands brush and it makes his hands twitch, in a good way.  “You?”   
“Just meeting my friend for coffee.”

Oh shit Zayn thinks because there’s Niall and his hair is probably looking like a tornado just rolled through it and he might think Shelby is his girlfriend or something and _oh._ The friend is Niall. They make eye contact and it’s so fucking awkward that he just smiles like the corners of his mouth are pulled up by invisible string.

“Heeey.” Shelby greets and Niall laughs and hugs her. There must be some sort of inside joke Zayn wonders. “Oh this is Zayn. Niall, Zayn. Zayn, Niall.”   
“I’ve heard a lot about you.” Zayn says and it’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever sprouted out of his mouth. He instantly wishes to crawl into a hole and never come out again. There are confused looks on both their faces, slightly more amused on Shelby’s. “God that’s a weird thing to say because I haven’t heard anything about you.” Someone else comes over to join them. “Well this has been sufficiently awkward.” Zayn says and his face feels like its on actual fire.

The guy that came over to join them whispers into Niall’s ear, there’s a tint of red on Niall’s cheeks and then Niall shoves the guy. He thinks Niall might’ve mouthed fuck off but he’s not too sure because now he’s obsessively staring at his lips.  
“Shelby!” The new guy says. Shelby gives him a quick cuddle too.   
“You coming to join us?”   
“Nah meeting up with El, there’s some wedding shi – stuff she wants to go look at.” He then turns to Zayn. “Hi I’m Louis.” Offering a handshake which Zayn takes, of course manners were heavily imprinted on him and his siblings when he was being raised.   
“Zayn. Nice to meet you.” Louis gives him a calculating look and then bids his goodbye, whispering again in Niall’s ear and ruffling up his hair.

“Shall we?” Shelby says and they start walking off up Cuba st. Zayn just stares at the cobbled pavement and is eager to go their separate ways he almost forgets to say goodbye. Niall doesn’t make eye contact with him when he says goodbye and Zayn thinks it’s probably because he weirded him out. God what an idiot he tells himself on the elevator ride up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My chapters are so short lol


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh so there's some insight about Niall. Hope you like it!

Niall slips into the house through the ranch slider, carefully sliding his shoes and setting it off to the side. He makes his way upstairs and rummages through the pantry, finding exactly what he’s looking for. A knife on the right hand and bread on the other he slowly spreads the peanut butter and then jam on the other slice. He’s propped up on the kitchen counter devouring his peanut butter and jelly sandwich when the floor boards creak and a mess of curls rounds the corner.

“Peanut butter jelly time!” Harry bellows out stealing a bite off Niall’s sandwich before pouring a glass of juice for himself.   
“Tell your mum that the jam is almost out.” Niall says mid chew. He gives Harry a once over. He’s always liked the way Harry dresses. Everything just fits so well. The skinny jeans, the scoop neck t-shirts and the way he pushes his curls back from his face.

It frustrates him to no end because he’s harbouring the biggest crush on his own best friend. So typical but he couldn’t help himself. Niall just feels this overwhelming connection with Harry, literally two peas in a pod. Except that Harry is very much straight and Niall is not.

Sometimes Niall likes to pretend that they are already a couple, minus the kissing and the holding hands, they do pretty much everything. Finishing each other’s sentences, sipping from the same straw, sharing dessert – Niall never shares – and just being so aware of each other’s presence but then Harry does this thing where he sees a hot girl and just has to comment about it and Niall just plays along making Niall feel more alone.

Harry starts talking to him about some tv show and Niall laughs and nods on cue but all he can think about is kissing those lips and running his fingers through his hair. If only he were, he doesn’t want to admit it sometimes, a girl.

When he’s by himself and there’s nothing occupying his brain, his train of thought travels to the weirdest place. What if he was a girl? Why wasn’t he born a girl? Is he just a girl stuck in a boy’s body? All these questions and sometimes he almost convinces himself that he would be better of as a girl.

Sometimes he just doesn’t feel right in his own body, like his skin doesn’t sit well and it makes him cringe. When he sees girls walking down the street wearing daisy dukes and flattering tops he wants to be one of those girls. The girls that have boys swivel their necks for a second look, girls that makes them trip over their own feet to get to know her and then maybe Harry can love him or give him a chance.

Shelby has been there for him and she said she would help him, at least experience what it would be like. At first when she proposed it all those weeks ago he was sceptical because people would be able to tell that he was nothing but a dude in a dress but Shelby, smart and convincing, eased him into the idea more and more.

Being a design major at Massey she said she would make a custom dress for him and ask one of her friends who works in a salon to lend her a wig. She would also do his make-up and lend him shoes and the only thing he needs to do is say yes.

So when they had coffee on Sunday, it was to tell him that everything is ready and if he was ready they should go out on Saturday and try it out. There’s a party in one of her friend’s apartment and she said we’ll go late so when they would get there people would already a little drunk, which seemed to ease his heart rate a bit.

“Oh my god! Did you know we could’ve applied for amazing race!” Harry says, his voice all high pitched and excited which makes his nose scrunch up and it makes Niall’s heart melt into a puddle. Niall listens as he Harry explains what they could’ve done for their submission video which has him laughing loudly.

“Zayn?” Niall asks bewildered.  
“I said insane. Who the hell is Zayn?” Harry says.   
“Uh don’t know.” He must not have been paying as much attention as he thought he was.   
Harry gives him this squinted look but continues talking.

At this point Harry is just white noise because all Niall can remember now is how Zayn looked at him at the dinner, that deep intense stare like he was undressing him with his eyes and calling him over whenever he wanted like some sort of call boy. It’s disgusting in principle but there’s always that part of him, curdling deep inside him that craves for it. To feel wanted even if it’s just for an hour.

Zayn is hot, utterly and unfairly so, goddamn hot. The angles of his face could cut glass, even more so when he saw him the next day. In the natural light he looked amazing, the navy blue sweater hugging his long lean body just right, god he can feel sensations all down his body just thinking about it, he has to bite his bottom lip in case he lets out a breathy moan.

He thought there was something there; he thought that the clingy girl sitting beside him was nothing more than a clingy girl. And when they left together that night Niall let that ship sail, obviously the lights were obscuring his vision. But then Louis whispered in his ear the next day. “That was the guy staring at you! Date that boy! Look at him, his eyes look so needy for you.” Niall told him to fuck off and then thought, yeah sure why not. Next time he would see him, he’s going to try get in there.

“So are we going out this weekend? I feel like I haven’t hung out with you and Lou in ages!” Harry says.   
“Yeah – oh um we got a dinner on Sat so probs not.” Niall says, which isn’t exactly a lie because yes there is a dinner event but he’s getting off early to meet up with Shelby.   
“Boo you whore!”

Niall hits Harry in the arm which starts a round of play fighting and ends with them breathless on the carpeted floor. Niall feels like he’s in a nest of intimacy, with Harry’s arm under his neck like a pillow and the usual pitter patter in his heart and all he can hear are their laboured breaths. The moment ends abruptly with Harry getting up off the floor without a word and a hint of tension lingers in the air.

Niall feels slightly sick to his stomach but it fuels something in his gut, to be someone he can be happy with, skin he can feel comfortable with and a reflection he doesn’t have to hide away from.

He stares at back of Harry’s endlessly long torso longingly, sure the one night stands he gets up to gives him his fix of the month but he can just imagine how the curves of Harry’s body would feel under his fingertips, the defined muscles that flex when he grinds on top of him and especially the look that he would give him, his bright green eyes finally returning the amount of want the Niall himself feels.

Once he’s back in his own home, it’s still quite early and Greg and Denise won’t be home for another couple of hours. There’s an urge inside of him that’s just itching under his skin. He quietly makes his way to his brother’s room, paranoia seeps into his skin as he pulls open the closet door.

A dress hangs up on the hanger and he gingerly pulls it out, holds it against himself and looks in the mirror. There’s a whirlpool currently swirling the contents of his stomach, it’s mostly excitement and curiosity. He undresses himself down to his boxers and slips the dress over his head. It hugs him in places that is unfamiliar to him.

He gives himself a once over. The electric blue cocktail dress actually looks pretty damn good on him. His waist is slim and his hips wide and it shows the nice curves of his usually not visible bubble butt. There’s a bulge in the front but Shelby says he’s just going to have to wear 2 pairs of underwear and several layers of stockings to keep it from popping up. Also the lack of boobs but a bra and some stuffing would be an easy fix.

The whirlpool turns into soft waves, he feels somewhat relieved and finally able to convince himself that it might actually work and if it does then it would mean –

The shrill of the telephone cuts him from his thoughts and sends him into panic. Even though no one can actually see him Niall feels like he’s been caught out. He’s in a frenzy try to get out of the dress and he almost rips it in the process. The phone is on its fifth ring when he finally answers it, a little bit out of breath.

“Hey Niall, can you do me a favour and see if there’s any milk in the fridge?” Greg says on the line. Niall tries to regain some composure, trying to reset his mind the dress suddenly becoming some sort of disease he throws it on the bed.

He pads of to the kitchen telling Greg there’s none left and they talk for a little bit longer before they hang up. He’s back in the room of the crime; he puts his shirt back on and hangs the dress back up where it used to be. He doesn’t want to think about Saturday fearing he might back out of it, most of all he doesn’t want to think of what will happen if he ends up liking it. This Saturday will be just a one time thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think??


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